This article was posted on the Utah Friends of Midwives:
As I was reading this, I went through a roller coaster of memories. Remembering myself , feeling the same way, as some of the women do, in regards that "doctor knows best", "won't do any harm", and "i'm just trusting the doctors. They are, after all, educated, and do this for living". I had my share of trusting and believing in the "machine power". While I do believe in medicine, I believe even more in taking responsibility. I found, through my last pregnancy, that there is a lot more to the medical system then just coming to see the doctor. For example, such little things, as once you see the doctor and sign a medical release form ( which you are required to sign to be seen) , you sign your will away to the judgement of above mentioned doctor, who is legally more bound by laws and regulations ( only a hospital is worth a million), that he is first and foremost a businessman, and hence is his/her first priority. I too, like many others, felt that there is so much, that can happen wrong and I know so little to take charge of my and my baby's life. My pink eyeglasses have been ruthlessly shaken off when I heard the very well meaning doctor - an OB that I've been seeing - telling me that he himself could do nothing to change his OWN grandchild's situation ( who was treated according to the hospital's protocol, even though the baby did not need anything) , and he had even less power in my case.
I was shocked by the reaction, when I made a conscious decision to continur the pregnancy to term. I knew that there was nothing kore important then my baby's health and development, even IF that meant more difficulties for me. So, I transferred care. To someone who cared about the health of the child more then about money. With the help of God. I won't say it was easy and not scary. For a person , that came from such a medicated background, conditioned to believe to trust, and being surrounded by traditions over traditions over traditions of following the typical way, it WAS , indeed , difficult at times to believe that yes, I can do just what all women did, what our Mother Eve did , and bring children into this world not through cruelty of cold plastic gloves and metal clasps, bring lights and sharp loud sounds, but through love, warmth of mothers hands and heart, and , above all , Divine help. I know that there will be multitude of opposers, saying that oh-so-many things can go wrong, and then what, etc, etc. Yes. And No. Birth of the baby is a sacred process blessed by Divine Love. All that there is, is the way it is meant to be. Always.
I have discovered myself as a woman in ways I never thought were possible to be. Maybe for one of the few rare times I really connected with the feminine part of what make us all be women - God's creations, the way he intended us to be. I learned about the sacredness of women's wit and knowledge during the art and miracle of childbirth, that is impossible for men to comprehend or rationalize simply because they ARE men. Wonderful, strong, but men. I hope, pray and wish for all beautiful women to embrace their power and strength. The truth is... we know it all. Our spirits and genes - it's all there. Just trust yourself. And God.
And as for my baby... who, the doctor was convinced I would never be able to carry past 28 weeks, if ever make even this far... I had on her due date, at home, perfectly healthy, and amazingly beautiful. I would do this again without a second thought.
