May 14, 2009

Beautiful world

I had a hard day yesterday. Just long , hard - as days can be sometimes. So, at the end, feeling fulfilled and tired, as we were walking home, those beautiful flowers were there just for me. :) I loved them and got them. Life is SO BEAUTIFUL after all. Aren't they gorgeous?

LOVE and BEAUTY for all of the world and me :)

May 12, 2009


That is just it. I am just FINE : Freaked Out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. Why? I don't know. I really shouldn't be. I wanted it in the first place. It is a blessing. I know it is. I know it is right. Why am I feeling like this? Because i didn't really think it'd happen? Did i secretly hope for it not happening? I must have. But there is no turn around now. I am excited - my "freaked out" and excited state are mixed together. And emotional is definitely a "happy" kind of emotion. I just need to chill and process it all.

May 08, 2009


"if we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupies by the people calling other people to stammer that they loved them."
Christopher Morley

So true, so powerful and so disarming. At the end of the day, or at the beginning for that matter, all that counts is LOVE. We are nothing without it. We all need it. We all are creations of LOVE. We all need LOVE to get us through every moment, whether it is something difficult, something sad or overwhelming. We CREATE LOVE when we are elated. There is no person out there that does not need it. Even the toughest ones. They , actually, need it the most.

I open my heart to all of those that want it - it is yours. Forgive me for not letting you enough how much I love you. I do. I love you, I love you, i LOVE you. I don't know what I would do without you. Actually, I do - my life would be very plain and grey. Thank you for brining me a rainbow of love. I need it. Like a flower is in need of water and sunshine, i - and aren't we all - am in need of your love. Just plain, simple LOVE.

I intent to BE love. Because I want to . Because that is who I ultimately am. If I need it to live, then it is the fuel that fills my soul. There is nothing more important to me then LOVE. Mountains are turned upside down with LOVE. Terminal illnesses healed with LOVE. Impossible made possible with LOVE. Miracles happen through LOVE. Love of different kinds. And all united. A mystery I may never completely understand, and it's ok with me. All I need to know is that it makes me happy , and it makes happy those that are around me. Good enough. Actually... it's perfect.

May 01, 2009

Toothie love!

The new summary is just that : RIP to my good old friend and welcome to the new implant.
There story is that yesterday morning I woke up to a little sore tooth. And I mean - just a little. Just a few weeks ago I had a filling fall out. And - of COURSE - after calling and seeing a doctor, he checked me out, CHARGED and said to schedule an appointment when he IS available ( apparently, he is only available immediately for charging, not fixing...) . So, the wait ... In the meantime , the "something" that is going around and making people sick decided to visit our household, and while touring through my body, really loved the pocket around my tooth. So , "it" stayed. In my tooth. And within hours ( and I really mean hours) , I went from being perfectly normal and happy person, to a completely miserable woman. With the inflamed site going from barely there to flaring up all the way to my sinuses, swelling and all , just like it is supposed to. :)
The fun, however , began when we desperately tried to get into the dental office. Apparently, most of the dentists have an agreement with their patients teeth, that the teeth are NOT supposed to hurt anywhere outside of the time range of Mon-Thurs 9am-4pm. And since our call came in after 5pm, we were politely told to wait until Monday. WITHOUT a pain medication. I really wish for any of those dentists to experience a tooth ache. Having a baby is NOTHING comparing to it. So, we started to call all the "emergency dental" places, you know , the 24/7 ones ( as THEY advertise). And what do you know : 30 + places later, the phone answering services said " please, leave a message, we will get back to you as soon as we possibly can". So... 11 pm - not a single phone call. My dear loving husband was ON the phone all that time trying to find a different place... A couple answered. And refused to give anything for pain OR swelling without seeing. AND refused to see until - the very earliest - morning ( 24/7 emergency????) . ALL suggested mega-doses of advil ( will talk about THAT later...) Some suggested to go to the ER ( so that they can send you back to the dentist? and charge for it??) . So... FINALLY, at 11:47pm some wonderful doctor answered. We drove to his office after midnight. BLESS YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS!!! So, after taking some x-rays ( but even without them) , he immediately said that something needs to be done. And done NOW. with the speed the infection was progressing, if left untreated , it would go straight into the brain, where the "it-visitor" already headed. The question remained was WHAT to do. The options given were : root canal retreat - oral surgery ( as it was a failing root canal, which would NOT be failing, if the filling would be places back ON TIME : gotta love the "original" doc!) , or extraction. Since with the infection in place, and the fact of how fast it was progressing, there was a 60% chance of the re-treat failing. And then STILL having to have to extract the tooth, except with the surgery done previously, a harder extraction. Or just get the toothie out. So, after talking to the dentist, and actually, feeling GOOD about his suggestions, we mutually decided to retire THE toothie and introduce the implant. We both ( actually, all three of us - the toothie , after all, was not happy with the situation either ) , decided that it would be a wiser, healthier and more productive option, as an implant is for life. Root canal for several years. So, on that note, the toothie RIPs now in the dental office.

NOW.. about those mega-doses of pain -killers, suggested by all other dentists... At about 2 am I learned what it is to have a drug poisoning. It is NOT lovely or pleasurable in ANY way. Fortunately, we had some remedies to help out to clear the body and a pump to get rid of the affected milk.

Lesson learned : system SUCKS. Good dentists are not doctors - they are good PEOPLE that LOVE what they do and actually do it well. Doctors - yet again confirmed - are businessmen. I REALLY hope Obama breaks the system down. A person in need of HELP needs to receive the help. After all - isn't this what they swear to do when graduating? I am SURE it does not say in the oath to work only Mon-Thurs , 9-4 and advertise as 24/7 emergency access. Oh, and the personal favorite : "Maybe , you should get a blessing to get you through the night".... Ehemmmm.... I DO believe in spiritual-emotional-physical connection MORE any any doctor does. But until I get to Heaven, I STILL have to deal with the mortal body. And I don't remember any dental school under the name of "Spiritual Dentistry". Do you?
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