October 21, 2008

Life and Emotions

It's nothing new. Absolutely nothing. It's just one of those things where the light bulb finally sparks. I always new that emotions are a huge part of life. I always tried to follow, but I guess it is one of those really truly realization things - unless it clicks 100% , you don't understand the meaning of it. Struggling with the doctors, I called Rachel ( thanks Veronica). And lots of things made sense. She mentioned Louise Hay. I LOVE those books. Have several , read them all, thought how great they are, and somehow never learned to apply it... Why is that? The time must have been wrong then. One thing that Rachel said - and I totally believe and agree - is that there is no perfect ONE way to health and happiness : there is no such thing and a perfect diet - and you are healthy. It's a combination of spiritual, emotional and physical states. Now - is this new? NO. But do we really realize that? No. I am very grateful that the light turned on for me, finally. I believe, that we have our energy channels - call it how ever you want, there are so many names for it - that we communicate with divine beings whom we are going to become some day. I believe, that those channels can be blocked so easily too. And then all those 3 states are interdependent : when you have a better spiritual sense , you emotions are better , your diet is better. When your emotions are out of whack, what happens to your diet? and then spiritual being? Yeah... Does a situation like being really upset , eating a ton of "really not supposed to" stuff, and then beating yourself for it sounds familiar? I kinda doubt that after "pigging out" one would sit and say to him/herself " I am so great! i love myself! " Much stronger opposite is much more likely to occur ( to say it soft :)). So, here is the pattern, a triangle, all interconnected : spirituality, emotions, physicality. Does not matter in what order, but all need to be in balance.
One thing that Rachel said made my jaw dropped. My baby is wrapped in the cord, bad enough to cause a concern. When I mentioned it to her, she said " The reason the baby is wrapped from emotional point of view, is not because the baby is afraid to come into the world ( the logical explanation would-be). It is because the mother , somewhere deep inside, is rejecting the baby, or the fact of the pregnancy, or something that the baby and/or pregnancy is causing". I was speechless. As much as this is a VERY much wanted baby, and this is a VERY much wanted pregnancy, and I LOVE this baby dearly and worried about her all the time, there were so many times that I exclaimed " I HATE being pregnant! Why did I do it again? Why can't I just have a normal, worry-free pregnancy", etc, etc. And the more I thought about it - I did the same thing with my second pregnancy. But NEVER with the first. I loved every minute of it - from throwing up all 9 months, to contractions, to uncomfortable nights, etc, etc... My son was born early and unexpectedly , but you could not tell - 7 lb, perfect baby. My daughter was born just a couple of weeks sooner ( due to cord) - and despite of all the preparations , all the shots to mature baby's lungs, all the observations I had to do, she struggled. And a lot. One would think the opposite should have had occurred. And here is the answer to my question " Why while this is by far the most healthiest pregnancy that could have happened , there are so many uncontrollable problems? ". Those problems can be controlled, can be changed. It is something that one cannot physically prove , but that is why it is an emotional and spiritual state. We all know God lives. But prove it.


  1. Olya- What a great post! I couldn't agree with it more. I had a great pregnancy with my son and an awful delivery. I was induced and every complication that could happen, did happen. He ended up in the NICU and I in the OR. I was so worried that the damage to my cervix would prevent me from carrying another baby.

    I waited almost two years before getting pregnant again. All the while scared to death that I would miscarry. But as soon as I saw the test that said positive, I changed my attitude and was determined to have a great pregnancy. It was VERY hard. I was sick this time around, I had to have internal u/s done up into the 3rd trimester to make sure my cervix was holding and I also had the worry about placenta previa. With all these pregnancy complications, I still had a positive attitude. I just knew I had to help my little Kara grow and stay strong.

    During my pregnancy with her, I would pray every day for a different labor then what I experienced with my son, Ryan. I didn't want to be induced, I wanted to wait to take any drugs until I really couldn't take the pain anymore and I didn't want a c-section (they kept threating one because of the cervix). To my surprise, Kara decided to come a week early and she came fast and furious! We got to the hospital and 20 minutes later she was in my arms. It was the most amazing experience and I would do her delivery over and over again. It was soooo nice not to be hooked up to an IV or on drugs. I did tear but I felt great once she came out. I was up and had energy.

    Sorry this was a book!!! I just wanted to share my story to let you know that it is possible to have a different outcome then what the doctors predict. I wish you all the luck in the world with this baby. She is truly blessed to have you as her mama.

    Sending lots of love your way!

    ~ Bobbi-Jo :)

  2. Alright, this is so crazy, but I REALLY needed to read everything you said. :) It's like having thoughts/ideas, and then seeing them in reality proven :)

  3. WOw I had never thought of this before. I had a rough pregnancy and Preston came out great. I can't say I had a bad attitude about it though, I just couldn't wait for it to be overwith. :)

    I like what Bobbi had to say. She is amazing. :)

  4. I am so happy I could make you smile. :)

    PS- Ryan had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and Kara had the cord wrapped around her entire body. They also both came out with meconium...I didn't get the wonderful baby plopped on the tummy experience because NICU had to evalute first.

    You are doing GREAT...remember to take this day by day and you will get to the end. I can't wait to see this baby girl! Your children are BEAUTIFUL! :)

  5. What a deep and thoughtful post, Olya. It's AMAZING how much emotions play with our physical well-being. I also had a terrible birth experience with my first, so I was determined not to have that happen again. While my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies were harder than the 1st, with bed rest and an irritable uterus that made normal, daily living extremely painful and full of contractions, I tried to have a good attitude. I tried... didn't always succeed, especially because the 3rd pregnancy was an unexpected blessing. But one thing I was always sure of, I was going to have that wonderful, positive birth that was denied me with the first. I practiced daily affirmations and relaxation techniques and visualized the birth. Of course everything didn't go 100% as planned, but both births were everything I could have hoped for. The mind is a VERY powerful thing. I truly believe that.

  6. Thanks, girls. It is amazing, how such simple things all of a sudden make so much sense. I guess, that is what they call " knowledge" - where the understanding is such, that there is no doubt about it. I am very grateful for all your insights and support. Definitely, this is a very much learning and understanding time for me.

    xo Olya


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