Because I love you, now and always.

 

^^ blotchy faces and tear-y eyes. i hate saying good-byes. this is one of those few times when i feel sad about my move to america... ^^

 I do not take a phrase "I love you" lightly. Today I miss my mom more then ever, and those words are the ones I keep repeating in my mind over and over again. It doesn't matter whether you are 2, 35 or 57,  a long distance (and sometimes a very long term) separation with a loved one - mom in this case - is very difficult. At least for me.  As life has weathered me a little, it also hardened my ability to show emotion openly, if nothing else then for the sake of protecting my own heart from pain and disappointment. But I my kleenex box is empty, my make-up is non-existing and my nose is red. I, as everyone else, of course, am extremely lucky to have modern day technology and hear the voice on the other side of the line within seconds, even though she is on the the other side of the WORLD, and somewhat participate in my parents' life long-distance through skype. However, no super computer will substitute for a human touch, a hug, a kiss or warmth of a greeting smile. No computer can deliver a sound of a teapot whistling on the stove and the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning.

My dearest mom,  I love you so, so very much. There are no words that ever can express it the way I really mean it to, but, please, do know how much, how very much we all love you. Our house is empty without you. You always wished for me and my sister to have a memory of a house-nest, filled with the aroma of freshly-off-the-stove supper, and you, greeting us with a smile when we came home from school. But necessity to work kept you away from home for long hours, and it saddened you that life didn't happen as you wished then. Please, know what was then dream is now a reality. You brought the feelings of unity, peace and comfort to us. You have us what we needed most - your love, and it filled that 5 year long hap

Tonight when we came back home after seeing you off at the airport, I went downstairs into your room, and set there crying. I didn't want to leave. I remembered every minute of your stay with us, from the moment we came to the airport to pick you up to the minute I watched you walk onto the plane, wishing desperately that our living arrangements were not separating us by thousands of miles. I smiled, remembering our adventures, trips and crazy, never-working-as-supposed-to schedules. Our food experiments and cheese parties. Your birthday that we shared together for the first time in over 15 years... And many, many, many other things. You brought so much love and light with you, you made our house be a home filled with happiness, no matter the daily stumbles. We are so, so, so very lucky to have had you in our daily life, even if for a short period. You know this already, but as noted by my husband - our relationship is unique: you are my best friend, have always been and will remain one forever.

  

^^ so lucky to have celebrated not only a birthday, but this jubilee. i only wish to look so beautiful at 60 too. ^^ 

 

^^ the walks in the park in fall are my favorite: gorgeous nature and beautiful company. we had so many heart-warming talks together ^^

^^ hugging for the last time until next time. wishing, hoping and praying that life cooperates and a 5 year separation stretch never happens again ^^

 

^^ though didn't plan originally, i am so glad we extended the stay, and the ticket availability fell on 31st. the airport is absolute FUN on halloween. how about not only kids, but TSA and airport crew in costumes too? and TSA were extra-friendly ( always a bonus!). and there was hardly anyone flying too ^^

^^ please, come back soon. we all love you so very much and miss you terribly already ^^