10 years ago on May 12th I was in the bathroom staring at "those two lines", long awaited for, desired and prayed for, trying to keep myself calm from getting too happy about it just yet. The next 8 months that followed were filled in reading EVERY book out there possible, spending hours on internet , asking ( and listening ) to everyone that had experience - all in hope of scoring an "A" at that thing called "motherhood".
Many days passed since then. I have learned, very quickly - just as many others do, that the "perfect" motherhood is one of those things that is always "almost" at your reach, but you have to go just one more step further to get to it.
In my mind, I had it all perfectly planned out, where my baby would smile and open his little mouth wide for the first spoon of cereal, where I would kiss him goodnight in the little crib and walk out quietly at 8 pm and come back to pick him up, when he is awake at 7 am, smiling, rested and happy. In real life, I had to clean my face and walls, as the first experience with the cereal was ... not that exciting for the baby ( and to be honest, that baby food... i'd spit it up myself just the same) . And night time... Let's just put it simple : I can't remember the last time either me or my husband slept for a longer stretch then 3 hours at a time.
But when I look at those little smiling faces, when I feel someone climb into my bed and snuggle close to me in the middle of the night, when I hear "good morning, Mommy"... there aren't words to describe the love and warmth that spreads through my every cell. I feel so lucky. So blessed. So... dreamlike. I kiss each little sleeping face at night and can't believe that they are real, mine and perfect, each in their own way.
10 years of experience have taught me many things. But if I were to pass on just one to my children, then here it is: It's near to impossible to score "perfect" on parenting ( although I do find many of the child psychology books and suggestions very helpful) . But as long as there is a happy smile on your child's face, you are on the right path.
for those of you that asked - stroller is stokke xplory with a cup holder, changing bag, and riding board. we also use stokke crusi ( with a sibling seat option) and love both absolutely. please, email with questions - i am happy to help. a good stroller is so important!
*disclaimer: living notes is not paid to promote stokke, but, having experienced many other baby products, we absolutely love stokke and want to spread the word.
This is so brilliant- I'm not a mother, but I definitely think there is so much pressure on women to be perfect mothers. And I think you accepting that you aren't, and having happy, healthy children, puts you pretty close to it :) xx
ReplyDeleteI think it is all engraved in us as women too! We always want to do something better, always wish it could just be a little bit more... But the truth is - when children are happy, that is ALL that matters. My mom thinks that she was not as good of a mom for us, yet, I could not wish for a better mother :)
DeleteYour family is so darling. I'm completely with you. The "experts" can help when you have a specific problem, but really, we're all such different people with such different families, with such different children....you can drive yourself mad trying to be perfect. (or doing things "right"). Kids are happiest with happy parents and love and LIFE. :)
ReplyDeleteLoved this post. :)
Thank you. and absolutely - kids are happiest being kids, in safe and loving environment. Childhood goes by so fast! Sometimes I wish I could revisit! LOL
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