February 07, 2012

Inspired by...

I am a regular attendee at Dancing Branflakes. Every Tuesday Tiffany does an anonymous ( if wish to be so) pour-your-heart-out, on different topics. Yesterday's topic was pregnancy. I left mine, of course ( and not anonymously... I seem to forget to click the proper square. Oh, well...), but more so, I kept coming back over and over to the comments re-reading them.

What I couldn't get off my mind, is how many women are terrified of pregnancy, and more so, child birth. My heart aches for them, because just not that many years ago I was there myself... I remember very well my first pregnancy, my first Dr appointment, "problems", and my shaking knees when I was told that " you are not going home, you are going to have a baby now" , and not because I was in labor. Convenience and fear of liability overcame the sane human judgement. A much worse repeat second time around. NICU. Preemie...

Anyway. To make a very long story short: I was not very happy about being pregnant with my third child. I wanted the baby VERY much, but the pregnancy... I loathed it. Until I was lead to a beautiful, amazing woman. A midwife by God's call. Actually, I had to transfer care at 35 weeks, because I was facing a dr ordered induction, even though there were no medical reason for it, but as a precaution , just in case, and so that I "wouldn't need so suffer more". Don't get me wrong - my pregnancies are far from fun. Puking and all that - I live in the bathroom all 9 months. But I didn't mind going full 40 - that's what is best for the baby, that is what I will do. It felt ALL.WRONG. when he said that although, there is no medical reason, but "based on the previous history"...

Previous history?! I thought I was told every stinking appointent that "every pregnancy is different" , so what history are we talking about here? All the stress of constant fighting to stay pregnant started to take its toll on me , making me feeling worse by the minute. So, I was left to a choice - stick to this practice, or look for a second opinion. The second opinion confirmed my thoughts, but no Dr were willing to take me in this late into pregnancy. With the help from friends - and really, Divine interference - this amazing woman appeared in my life. And in very short 5 weeks she taught me more , then I learned in all 3 pregnancies. You all know how it ended ( and you can read about it here).

I loved every minute of those last 5 weeks and the whole, entire new ( last ) pregnancy, but only with gratitude for my amazing midwife. She taught me how to educate myself, to learn more about pregnancy, baby, etc. Pregnancy is such a special , wonderfu land beautiful time. It hurts me to see that people tend forget about the biggest blessing and a miracle we have - our children. There is nothing that is worth more then they do. Like right now I have one that is snorring on my shoulder while I'm typing this.

So, I guess , the point is - don't be afraid, go for it! Even if you are a "non-mothering" type. Your hormones are going to kick in, and you will be just fine. Trust me. And as people, There is never a point when you feel up to it... Open your hearts up - let the love overcome fear. What you are going to get back is going to be worth it. I promise.

 What are YOUR feelings about pregnancy? Are you happy? Scared? 

Please, don't hesitate, email or text me . I'm also on twitter {@livingnotesnyc)

PS - the pictures used today are just my "every day" pics. They may not be as beautiful as you are sued to, but these are a part of real life, and - in my eyes - have a beauty of its own, in a message they deliver.

PPS here is a little sneak peek into our photoshoot today for LuluWraps! I HIGHLY recommend them - best wraps ever. My baby adores it too - and THAT is saying something.


  1. Great story, great decision you've taken 35 weeks pregnant and remaining it the last 5 weeks!
    My first pregnancy was a wished one, of course, but I was not that kind of happy mummy to be I always thought I would be. I don't know, when I was in the third month of pregnancy i got bleedings and were to the hospital for a few days. The baby was all fine, it just an effusion or something like that, but of course I was scared. I think I was not that happy because it all was such a miracle to me. I could never imagine that this baby could really be mine some day, could come out of me and I could face it! It was so unreal that I just thought something would happen before so it couldn't come to all that! I was never a very positive person ;).
    But of course everything turned out find, when I was about 10 days over date I got a C-section. Because I was in contractions the 24 hours before I was completely done after the surgery!
    But my little girl was fine and I also felt much better in the night when I first saw her clearly minded to feed her! It was such a wonderful moment.
    In my second pregnancy I also had to make a decision. Because of the C-section before my doc told me he just would do a C-section again, that I couldn't have a natural birth!
    When I first heard that I was shocked. I totally wished that I would get the chance to become a baby all alone and naturally!
    As I talked about that with my friends and family there were so much people telling me, there is the chance of course, I should go to some other doc. But well, I visited this doc. since I became a teenager. After all the things that were said I gave myself a minute, set down and thought about everything. Because of course everyone wanted to help me and of course my husband wanted a natural birth for me too, but in the end it was my decision alone. What would be the right thing for me?
    I knew there was the chance to have a natural birth but I also new it could failed. And I would have a emergency surgery.
    I thought of the situation and for me the decision was clear. I wanted something save, a surgery always is risky sure, but something everyone could prepare of! So I got my second C-section and my little boy was born with an infection. He spent his first 24 hours at the intensive care and I was happy for my instinct and the right decision!


  2. Oh, Penny! I can only imagine... It is possible to have a natural birth after a c-section, and the risks are minimal, but one thing that I DID learn from my wonderful midwife is that YOUR intuition is everything. She is very knowledgeable and if necessary - I would be able to trust her with my life - but she made it VERY clear of how important it is to educate oneself, and to make your OWN decisions. Because nobody has the right to decide what is best for you, you know? Women in state of pregnancy are probably the closest people to God, they are protected, so - decisions made consciously and thoughtfully and the decisions that are best for you and your baby. I am very happy that you made your choice that you felt was right. And very happy that your baby is fine now :)


  3. Thanks for the love! I swear you need to be a spokeswoman for healthy and happy pregnancies because you have such an incredible journey to share. Dancing through all that... that's my first memory of you! A beautiful pregnant belly with a stunning arabesque.


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