February 29, 2012

Thinking about life

Besides a million and one thing that that I have seriously scored on in my life , I realized how very, very , very lucky I am to have had my children early.

It is hard not to stumble over the fearing pregnancy blog posts and articles all over the place. Girls afraid of what pregnancy can do to their careers, bodies, relationships, lives, freedom, and just the fear of unknown. The thing is ... reading posts, commentaries , answers and shout-outs - I get it. I get all of it.

I got married early - unexpectedly for my own self ( read here ) , and had all ,  but the last one of my children in my 20s. I am so glad I did. Though accomplished, my life was still at it's dawn. But not knowing what was there to come had its advantages - I had no fear of losing it. We dove head first into the parenthood adventure while simultaneously working  on establishing our newly born family. I remember talking to my friends that were in their 30s and completely scared of the thought of a baby entering into their lives. I didn't get it then, but I do get it now.

I was talking to my husband, looking at my life right now. I have accomplished much, but I have SO. MUCH. MORE that is just in "the works", just at the start, and there isn't possibly anything that I want to miss. My time is so limited, I literally need 34 hours ( at the very least) to be able to accomplish a half. Had I not known better, there is no way in the universe that I would be confident enough to allow for an "intruder" , no matter how cute he or she may look.  There are enough horror stories out there about what those kissable cheeks come with : sleepless nights, blowouts, screaming tantrums and more. And lets be honest - a typical society stereotype of a new mother is not a particular sex-appeal either : black circles, messy UNsexy bun, spitup for parfume, makeup-less natural "beauty" look and her forgotten man  -  not particularly something ANY sane woman would willingly put herself in. Right? I think so.

But I didn't know that when I was 20.

At 20-something it looked like the world was at my feet. It was not so, but it seemed like it. At 20-something you feel like you can accomplish anything. And you can.

My thirst for life and continuous growth and development kept fueling me up after sleepless nights. I kept a VERY strong hold on my makeup bag , because at 20-something I still cared very much about how I look to my man, and those black circles did not make in on my agenda. Being put together transferred into a habit and continued on from year to year.  By the time I turned 30-something, I was sitting firmly on my career horse. And so were all my children. It was not easy by any means , actually, it was much harder comparing to if I were living simply by myself, but it was doable and worth doing. At the same time, I look at my life now, and understand  - very clearly - that at 30-something I am much wiser  and  more lenient to let my brain and well developed logic take over my heart, and am so happy that was not the case 10-something years ago.

So, I guess, the bottom line is ... be careless and illogical sometimes, and let your heart take over. 
Today, besides career , projects and life, I have a friend to talk to , a shopping partner,  a resident clown and a kiss-and-smile producer.  And I also learned that I am capable of much more then I ever though was possible for me.

And so are you. 


 Disclaimer : life does sometimes get crazy around here. just thought I'd let you know.


  1. Thanks for this, I'm about to have my first in 4 weeks-ish... I'm 23 and not scared a bit about the baby part. It's the rest of life part that seems daunting.

    1. That is so great, Susanne! Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside thinking about a newborn again :)...

  2. And I love hearing about your life! Where are you dancing? How can we dance together again?!!!!

    1. Ha! I SO. WANT TO! I'm getting my "rear in gear" at Rocky Mountain while traveling back to the east coast for Brighton and a smaller character company . We should have a dancing reunion party!
      I think there are more of us in CA? I'll travel!

  3. Hello babies, you all are so cute and sweet.


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