October 04, 2009

Must admit

Must admit. I had a hard time writing what I really want to say and or that I really think after having a dear reader use my most sacred against me in a rather hurtful way. Getting email notifications of who is coming in to visit were surprisingly revealing. I know that there are some readers that completely disapprove my writing/thinking/living and they are the ones that visit more then once daily. Never living a comment. Never making themselves known. I always had this general understanding that those that disapprove , come to your blog/magazine/article every now and then, read it and then , being full of emotion, spill it all out in the comment or email box. The "fumes" kind of. It appears, however, that there is a complete opposite, daily searchings ( more then once, actually.) And since I haven't really posted anything new, my "stalkers" have been re-reading the old posts, that for a fact - as they have let me know - they disapprove. I want to hope that it is because they are re-thinking their original opinion , and completely changing their view, and loving every word I said. Realistically... I understand that it is just a search for "more oil" to add to already existing fire. I have never thought that what I hoped to be an inspiration would be used against my own self. Every time I put my hands on the keybord - as they would say in the olden times - dip my quill in the ink - I , now , pause... think... and most of the time change my mind, and proceed to write about fashion, about world , or some other safe subject. Somehow the pages that had a beautiful serving of inspiration, and the purpose of such inspired ME to be open, in one moment became ... a turn off. For me. Feels ike a surfer trying to catch a wave with the sharks circling around him waiting for a slip off.

And at the same time I realize that there is no such thing as always loved . I understand that there is no such thing as pleasing everyone. And , now, after thinking, I am proud and happy that there ARE those that disapprove. Because it means that there is a meaning in what I say. It would be so boring to be so sweet all the time and please everyone. Greatest people in the history were supported by some and disapproved by others. I realized that if someone has SOMETHING to say as a reaction to my writing , then they must have thought about it. A fact that they continuously come back and search, mean that they LOVE it even if they say that they HATE it. And THAT of itself is a SUCCESS. And inspiration.

I never realized how much power the words have over me. Both , positive and negative. Words can kill and they can heal. And that is why I am writing.


  1. I vote for speaking to your truth, and letting the haters hate. Whatever they are finding so offensive must strike a whispering chord of dissent within themselves, that they already hold, and just don't want to see. Otherwise, what you say wouldn't bother them in the least. Be yourself! They can always go somewhere else; no one is making them read your blog. Except themselves.

  2. To be truthful, I am shocked that anyone would want to leave hateful comments on your blog.

    Continue to spread the love and know that you have true friends out there who love you just the way you are. :)

  3. Revealing the sacred thought is always risky on an open internet surf....but if that is your forum (and I"m glad it is :), then you need to be willing to allow the "sharks" to exist also. Their "dangers" as mere projections of the thoughts and "truths" THEY are grappling with. Be brave. Your voice is important to the whole. PS. I'm probably considered one of your stalkers, but I'm a nice one :)

  4. THANK YOU, dear friends! and Kathy, "stalkers" like YOU are always welcomed! :)


Pin It button on image hover